• Emelye

My Deep Blue Heart

I wrote this poem when my heart was in a very unstable place. While my heart is in a very unstable place.

It has been for a while, and I know I have some work to do over the next few years...

My mental health is not as sound as I make out, but despite my own nagging advice, I hide it away. The fear of being burden is so heavy.

After a rough night's sleep (barely), in part due to some head banging toothache and a wired brain I needed to 'come down'. Usually I would stand under an ict cold shower for 3 minutes, but in the absence of this... headed to the beach.

Wrapped up warm, hat and all, I walked to the water's edge, hindered by the strength of the blowing wind!

I pealed off my clothes and stood for a moment, with surging adrenaline and stared out across the aggressive, choppy and unforgiving waters.

The rain was irrelevant, as far as it didn't deter. The drops on my face only enhanced my experience.

The waves were strong, smashing up the pebbles; I was robbed my entire focus. The force, the cold, the wind and the rain. And in a contradictory sense, my world stood still.

And I felt I could breathe.


3 minutes of cold water induced mindfulness.

A moment to 'be' just there and just 'me'. I felt calm. I felt whole. I felt more free than I have all year.

I felt a connection to the Ocean in that 3 minutes. A familiarity I hadn't really, properly. noticed before.

I heard words and felt rhythm in my head, so I emptied it out. No search for external validation, just a desire to share my epiphany and in turn flex my creative instincts.

I hope you enjoy it.

Em xx

My Deep Blue Heart

𝒾 𝒢𝓂 π’»π“‡π‘’π“ˆπ’½... 𝒾 𝒢𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒... 𝒾 𝒢𝓂 π“‹π’Άπ“ˆπ“‰.β €β €

π’Έπ‘œπ“ƒπ“ˆπ“‰π’Άπ“ƒπ“‰π“π“Ž π“‚π‘œπ“‹π’Ύπ“ƒπ‘”... π’»π‘œπ“‡π‘’π“‹π‘’π“‡ π‘’π“‹π‘œπ“π“‹π’Ύπ“ƒπ‘”.β €

β €

π“Šπ“ƒπ“…π“‡π‘’π’Ήπ’Ύπ’Έπ“‰π’Άπ’·π“π‘’ 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’Ήπ’Άπ“ƒπ‘”π‘’π“‡π‘œπ“Šπ“ˆ, π’·π“Šπ“‰ 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’·π‘’π’Άπ“Šπ“‰π’Ύπ’»π“Šπ“... β €β €

β €

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒢𝓉 π‘œπ’» π“‚π“Ž π“Œπ’Άπ“‹π‘’π“ˆ 𝒸𝒢𝓃 𝒸𝒽𝒢𝓃𝑔𝑒, 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’»π’Άπ“ˆπ“‰.β €

----β €

𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 π’Έπ‘œπ“Šπ“π’Ή 𝒷𝑒 π“‚π‘œπ“ƒπ“ˆπ“‰π‘’π“‡π“ˆ 𝒷𝑒𝓃𝑒𝒢𝓉𝒽 π“‚π“Ž 𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝒢𝒸𝑒... π‘œπ“‡ π’Άπ’Ήπ“‹π‘’π“ƒπ“‰π“Šπ“‡π‘’π“ˆ 𝓉𝒽𝒢𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒻𝒢𝓇 π’·π‘’π“Žπ‘œπ“ƒπ’Ή π“Žπ‘œπ“Šπ“‡ π’Ήπ“‡π‘’π’Άπ“‚π“ˆ...

β €β €

π“ˆπ‘œ π“‚π“Šπ’Έπ’½ π‘œπ’» 𝓂𝑒 π’Ύπ“ˆ π’Έπ‘œπ“‚π“…π“π‘’π“‰π‘’π“π“Ž π“Šπ“ƒπ“€π“ƒπ‘œπ“Œπ“ƒ. β € β €

π“ˆπ‘œπ“‚π‘’π“‰π’Ύπ“‚π‘’π“ˆ 𝒾'𝓂 π“Œπ’Ύπ“π’Ή... π’·π“Šπ“‰ π“ˆπ‘œπ“‚π‘’π“‰π’Ύπ“‚π‘’π“ˆ π“ˆπ‘’π“‡π‘’π“ƒπ‘’.β €

----β €β €β €

𝒾𝓉'π“ˆ π“Œπ’Ύπ“ˆπ‘’ π“‰π‘œ π“‡π‘’π“ˆπ“…π‘’π’Έπ“‰ 𝓂𝑒... π“‚π“Ž π“‰π’Ύπ’Ήπ‘’π“ˆ 𝑒𝒷𝒷 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π’»π“π‘œπ“Œ. β €β €

β €

𝓇𝒾𝒹𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 π’½π’Ύπ‘”π’½π“ˆ π“Œπ’½π‘’π“ƒ π“‰π’½π‘’π“Ž'𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝑔𝒽, π’·π“Šπ“‰ π“€π“ƒπ‘œπ“Œ π“‰π’·π‘’π“Ž'𝓁𝓁 π’»π“π‘œπ“Œ π“π‘œπ“Œ.

β €

𝒾'𝓂 π‘œπ’·π‘’π“Žπ’Ύπ“ƒπ‘” 𝓉𝒽𝑒 π“‚π‘œπ‘œπ“ƒ... 𝒾'𝓂 π’Έπ’Άπ“‡π‘’π“ˆπ“ˆπ’Ύπ“ƒπ‘” 𝓉𝒽𝑒 π“ˆπ’½π‘œπ“‡π‘’. β €

β €

𝓉𝒽𝑒 π“Œπ’Ύπ“ƒπ’Ή π“‚π’Άπ“€π‘’π“ˆ 𝓂𝑒 π“‡π‘’π“ˆπ“‰π“π‘’π“ˆπ“ˆ, π“‚π“Ž 𝒽𝑒𝒢𝓇𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝒸𝒢𝓃 π“‡π‘œπ’Άπ“‡.

β €β €

π“Žπ‘œπ“Š π“‚π’Άπ“Ž π“Œπ’Άπ“‰π’Έπ’½ 𝒾𝓃 π’Άπ“Œπ‘’ π“‚π“Ž π“Šπ“ƒπ’·π‘œπ“Šπ“ƒπ’Ήπ‘’π’Ή π“ˆπ‘œπ“Šπ“, π“Žπ‘œπ“Š'𝓁𝓁 π’Ώπ“Šπ’Ήπ‘”π‘’ 𝒢𝓃𝒹 π“Žπ‘œπ“Š'𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝒾 𝒢𝓂 π‘œπ“Šπ“‰ π‘œπ’» π’Έπ‘œπ“ƒπ“‰π“‡π‘œπ“.

π’·π“Šπ“‰ π“‚π“Ž π“π‘œπ“Žπ’Άπ“π“‰π“Ž'π“ˆ 𝒻𝒾𝑒𝓇𝒸𝑒, 𝒾𝒻 𝒾 π“π‘œπ“‹π‘’ π“Žπ‘œπ“Š 𝒾 π“ˆπ“Œπ‘’π’Άπ“‡, 𝒾𝒻 π“Žπ‘œπ“Š π“π‘œπ“‹π‘’ 𝓂𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒷𝒢𝒸𝓀, 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾'𝓁𝓁 π’Άπ“π“Œπ’Άπ“Žπ“ˆ 𝒷𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒.

Written by Emelye Dwyer, 25th October 2020

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